Today is my 40th bday!!!!!!!

Life is about change....

and I just had this HUGE entry done.. where oh where did it go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont feel much different today than I did yesterday... It was a good day.... the kids were good... on all accounts except for just now.. when G had a fit which I reciprocated for her.. nice huh.. guess mommy needs to learn to grow up too and to handle her feelings a little better....

Mom decided nto to come.. why I am surprised I dont know.. why I continue to try I dont know.. frustrating as it is.... I guess I want to make an effort.. being the person I am.. but I am about done.. and the ones who suffere will be my kids...

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which bothers me.. and why she cant just commit really irritates me.. hmmmm something to pray about maybe .. to really give thought to.. maybe as an adult.. at the age of 40.. I need to learn to let things go more???? BUt it is hard.. all my life I have felt things needed to be the same.. treated the same.. and we arent'.... and it doesnt happen on dh's side either...

So here I am at 40... this is where I was about 3 years ago....

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and here I am now.....

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Amazing what a few years and some hard work can do huh???? it is still hard.. and I hate my hnagy downy belly but again.. yet another thing I need to be ok with.. my WW instructor says the whole perfetion thought process is the last to go.. and it is hard... hard not to be hard on the self..

So on my 40th.. I need to vow to be easier on myself.. others say 40 is liberating.. I dont know...