Feels like tons going on................

hmmm that picture is not very good...

So much going on.. we need to pack and we need to get moved.. I dont even want tot htink of packing.. but we are FINALLY moving to our OWN place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! space of our own.. I cant wait... but it is scary all the same... Eye on the prize.. eye on the prize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also want to be able to clean beforew we get in there.. I would like to paint.. but I dont know if that will happen at all... it all depends on whether we have time or not.. we also need to get a plumber in to fix my bathroom shower.. MY shower.. cant believe I am saying that... and clean M and G's bathroom and Brad's... wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and work.. Thursday was a tough day on top of the rest of the week I had to deal with trauma and drama with 3 of our kids!!!!!!!!!!! did not think I was going ot make it.. and then go to the doc to see my weight up 10 pounds from the night before.. WTF!!!!!!!!! and also to see my weight ber up period from the week before on Wednesday.. how damn frustrating.. good lord.. I want to have my 12's fit again.. wtf do I need to do to get that to happen~~~~~~~~~~~~~ people say let it go.. let it go.. ummm yah right...

Every one is sleeping but me... and I like the quiet.. I also need to focus on whaqt is going on... focus.. I hate doing laundry.. I just want time to re group.. without someone wanting something without fighting.. without having someone or something neeeeeeding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guess I need a break....

and then of course now I hear feet upstairs... I am going to be really angry if tI go up there and G is still up... I just want some peace and quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why does it all have to come down to my appearance and how I feel about my self.. how does this work.. I hate that.. and then I worry about Gretchen and her eating habits and if she is over weight already and what tha tmeans... I dont want her to sturggle like I did.. *SIGH*

This house stuff is driving me crazy

we have our paperwork and we have questions regarding stuff.. sounds liek the stuff to be paid outside of the closing date is escrow stuff but still frustrating.

more later

It feels longer since I have been here....

and the house stuff is making me crazy.. why is it that the real estate agents can push to get things done.. they take their own damn sweet time when you want something from them.. not our agent by any means.. well now anyhow.. *L* but the listing agent.. let's get this on the road already.. another week til we have a signed agreement??? WTF!!!1 thank god our banker is willing to go a head with stuff without the signed offer...

And thank God for the moms and dad's to pitch in to help us out.. I dont know what we would do.. we would make it work but OMG!!!! to much freaking stress for me.. I have not resotred to eating but suuuuuuuure have thought about smoking...

and I feel fat today... I know that really I am not.. but I dont like that my pants ... sz 12's this pair are tight.. i want all my size 12s to fit.. oh such a thing to complain about huh>>. dont need perfection but I feel I do... maybe I need to watch my CORE WW closer.... drink more water????


the lifting is going well and I dig it... but I just wish my stomach would go down!!!!

Called Shelly the other day to get some support.. and she turned our convo into somethinga bout her.. ummm ok I called and said.. I need you to talk me through this.. and before I knew it we were talking about her.. sometimes I get irritated with my friends b/c I often feel like I have to call them to get some kind of contact or support.. llike mandy.. I dont hear from her at all unles I email her or call her.. WTF huh??? and the same thing at times with Shelly.. then of course I get to listen to Sarah complain.. and whine about htings... OMG.. GROw up!!!! GRRRRRR ok i is not that bad.. but still irritating..

best go..

Crabby cold day....

have not been here in a bit.. is cold out today.. and I am crabby... sarah just got here ... dont really want to work.. so here I am...

darn period has me crabby.. I need a day off.. need to talk to Cristie about supervisiony stuff and dont feel like being nice to people at all... just need some time to settle and not talk work and not be nice.. grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Why is it that people just cant do what I want them to do or what they say they will do.. why is it that my expectations are so high.. I feel like I need to talk to Cristie about this however am not able to as she is with us today and I cant talk about my feelings regarding Sarah not following through when I have her with me in the same car...

and I am NOT a morning person at all.... all the freaking cheeriness from Sarah drives me nuts.. i dont want to be cheery this morning.. i want to stay home.. and be myself and have time for me.. and NOT have to worry about supervising someone and NOT have them take what i say to heart.. makes me not want to even freaking do it and then it is NOT my damn job is it???? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Need to go.. so much more to say but cant as Sarah is right here....