again it has been to long since I have been here...

Do you ever feel like things are just to crazy, like life gets away from you and you will freak out soon if things dont change???

that is how I feel, I am tired of the snow, tired of the cold, tired of being stuck in my house.. and tired of not having any money.. tired of feelings like I have to do it all...

Part of that is my fault.. I will take that on.... the money issue is my fault... and the feelings like I have to do it all... work wise.. well part of that is me.. but I do get tired of reminding and reminding and not getting an answer and feelings like I am crazy some times cause I KNOW i told him what needed to happen.. and he does not remember or does not do it...

and as far as being at home... I often feel like I have to do it all.. make the phone calls check on things.. be sure this happens.. WTF!!!!! cant you do anything???? How many children do I have anyhow???? # here on earth????

I soooooooooooooo need a freaking vacation... it is crazy.. how stressed I am....

just looked out the window... it is snowing.. AGAIN... Big surprise there.... but it lends to my craziness and crazy feelings....

I can tell I am stressed cause my neck hurts and I have tight shoulders... I hold a lot of my stress in my shoulders and it does not hwlp that my period is here.. AGAIN... and my emotions wack....

I just need time off.. more then next wednesday.... and I also need some more contact with my female friends.... it would be nice to have a female for a therapy partner.. as I struggle a lot with having a male.....

I also think that the weather, as I said before has a lot to do with my attitude... and how I feel.... I wish we could walk daily.. but the weather is keeping me from getting out.... darn cold......

I hate it tha tI dont really eant to do get the kids... I hate it that I worry it will be stressful and I will yell..

I hate it that my dh teases about not getting it enough.. but he isnot wiling to make the overture to make it happen....

I hate feeling responsible for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

maybe I need to go do Raiki again.. I need to let some of this crap go...

and I need to get here more often...