There were to many pg people at the docs office

today.. I sat there and read my book.. wish I had not gotten there so damn early... but I had my times messed up.. it usually never bothers me.. but soooooooo many pg people.. they were all very nanchallant about their pregnancies.. I wanted to jump up and scream.. dont you get it.. it could all be over in a minute.. but I did not....

this is the first time I had this reaction since immediately after we lost Emma... I felt cheated again... maybe it is cause I am darn near 41.. who knows.. I dont get it... but sometimes.. I just wish I was ok wiht it every day.. others being pg.. and usually I am.. most of the time as a matter of fact I am.. but today.... *sigh* not today....

so I had my gyno appt... and left.. treated myself to a starbucks on the way home.. #3 for the day....